I don't remember this either last time...

March 31, 2015

It just occurred to me that I don't remember going to appointments like two weeks apart in the beginning.  Maybe my doctor is just being cautious with me.  I'm not sure.

I've had pregnancy complications in the past so I understand that my doctor is a little more cautious with me.  I don't however remember seeing the doctor every two weeks.  I also don't remember getting an ultrasound every two weeks in the beginning.

On Monday (yesterday), I went to the doctor.  Luckily she did change our next appointment to be in 4 weeks but I am having an ultrasound tomorrow.  I just had one two weeks ago.  Don't get me wrong, I love getting to see the blob turn into something but it was a tiny blob last time... I'm pretty sure it will be a slightly larger blob tomorrow.

Oh well, maybe the doctor is just checking something else out and doesn't want to unnecessarily alarm me about something that may turn out to be nothing.  We'll see.

I don't remember this last time

March 24, 2015

This pregnancy has been different than before... or maybe I conveniently don't remember it being this way.  Who knows.  Either way this pregnancy is kicking my ass.

My poor husband is probably so tired of hearing me say the following:

• I'm tired.
• Why am I so exhausted?
• I just need to take a nap
• Let let me lie down for 10 minutes
• Do you need dinner tonight?
• I don't feel good
• My stomach hurts
• No I'm just tired

The one thing I do remember is being moody.  Not like lash out and go all Kanye West on paparazzi crazy but emotional like, "everything is making me cry" moody. 

I am however am extremely lucky that I don't have worse symptoms and I acknowledge that but I am not going to sit here and type that it's all hunky-dory, sunshine and lollipops.  It's hard.  It's especially hard to be this way when you haven't told but a few people.  

It's kind of like self torture.  You don't want to tell anyone how you are feeling but the beginning of the pregnancy is usually when you feel the worst.  Your body hasn't morphed into a giant fetus hotel yet so you just look chunkier or more bloated than usual.  To top it off, you are most likely too scared to tell anyone what the issue is for fear that, God forbid, you send a little angel to heaven.

Why? Why must we torture ourselves.  

Pregnancy is not perfect.  If anyone says it is, they are lying and you should distance yourself from them.  For the most part, I like being pregnant as I generally feel pretty good but we all have our days.  We miss things like: 

• Not looking like we're smuggling different types of balls under our shirts 
• Pants that fit for more than a month at a time
• Feet that fit our "fun" shoes (because our feet have widened and we fear they may never shrink again!)
• Wine, beer, spirits, etc.
• Not having aches in more places than you'd ever like to count
• Sleeping a full eight hours waking feeling refreshed not like you've gone to an all night rave and drank too much
• Sushi
• Lunch meat
• etc.

So if you are pregnant, get pregnant or have been pregnant remember that you are doing something incredible.  Something that doesn't seem possible.  Something that deserves praise.  

It's a hard job and the boys just can't handle it.  Haha! 

Just finding out...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

By the time I actually make this post public weeks will have gone by.  Probably close to twelve, well at least I hope so.

I've decided this pregnancy, I will take the time to enjoy it a little more.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I spent the whole time trying to make sure that I didn't disrupt much of my life as it was.  I tried to make sure that I didn't disrupt my husband and those around me lives.  I never stopped.  I worked and was running the whole time.  This time I want it to be different.

I'm not sure how many more times I will do this so this time I need to just relax a little.

Well not like this but you know what I'm saying, relax and enjoy the ride!