Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Disappointment

Sometimes I look at my life and think it's pretty good and other days I'm pretty unhappy with what I see.

Some days are going to be so much more disappointing and will have you questioning everything you've done. Did I wear the right lip stick? Should I have worn these pants with those shoes? Did I major in the right field? Did I pick the right career. Some days the answer will absolutely be yes. Other days you won't be so sure.

On the days you aren't sure remember to believe in yourself and trust your process. If you aren't believing your plan or your process then change it. Believe that whatever you decide to do is the right thing and do it!

Friday, December 26, 2014

Being a Stealth Ninja



Being a mom has turned me into a stealth ninja.  I know there are parents out there that absolutely forbid any time of household noise during nap time and after bed time but I never wanted to be one of those parents.

My brother's son is 3 and we were never as quiet as I am during nap time.  Let me just say, I do NOT like lots of noise.  If you were ever to get into my car, the radio is often pretty low.  I mean I am the person who turns the radio down before the shut off the car... always!! It literally pisses me off if I get into my car and when I turn the key on the radio is loud.  However, I don't think that it is necessary to be silent in your time while a child sleeps.  As a matter of fact, I used to try to make a bit of noise while my daughter napped so that in the future it wouldn't be such a problem...

Well, we all choose our sleeping battles.  I would love if my daughter slept in her crib all night without getting up but let's be real, I haven't forced her to and I've now created a monster.  I was the one who was hesitant to move her from the co-sleeper to her crib at 4 or 6 months (great mommy memory there!).  I knew that moving her meant that if she wanted to nurse that I'd have to really wake up to do so instead of just grabbing her from her co-sleeper.

There are plenty of people that will read this and think, why didn't you just give her a bottle... well, I hate pumping.  Let me clarify that, I F---ING HATE PUMPING.  You won't catch me cursing (like the sailor that I am in real life) in this blog but let me make it clear, when there are occasions that require that I take the time to really let you know how I feel about something that I will.  There are so many occasions that I wanted to just tell my husband to get a bottle and handle it but I wouldn't because the he'd use my preciously pumped milk.

Listen, as a working mom who hates to hear my child (or any child for that matter) scream in sleep frustration, I tend to cave at some things.  I still nurse my child to sleep, she's just over 12 months, I put her to bed asleep, I cuddle her while she's napping... I know that all these things are "wrong" but I don't want to be right because I love it.  I love every snuggly moment that she will allow me to have.



Some day, much sooner that I'd hope, she is going to be daddy's girl and the days of mommy clingliness will be over.  She loves me to the point of clinginess right now.  Hence the reason I have become a stealth ninja.



When I put my daughter to bed, there are too many times where she ends up in our bed.  Her bedroom is right across the hall from ours but she doesn't have the greatest track record for sleeping in her crib (which could be a blog post in itself one day but well see)

I work full time and so does my husband.  We need sleep.  There is no if ands or buts about it.  Sleep is critical in this house and that is often sacrificed by either lack of sleep or bad habits.  We chose bad habits.  I would rather get a bit of sleep before showing up to work like a zombie than making sure that my daughter slept in her bed but it's a matter of personal opinion.  The cry it out method has worked for so many people it is tempting to me but I just haven't built up the strength to endure a rough two to five days to deal with it.  With all that said, she still sleeps in our bed pretty often.

Once, our daughter has gone to bed or early in the morning before she's awoken, I often do things like: clean, cook or organize.  My favorite is cooking but I know that the other things have to be done.  This is where being a stealth ninja comes in.

Like I said there are times where my daughter will be sleeping in our bed.  She sleeps great in our bed.  She does however know when I've left the room.  It's exhausting.  I have become a stealth ninja because of all the situations that require a careful removal of yourself from the bed.  If my daughter is sleeping in our bed, just freaking deal with it.  I know I may possibly be able to move her across the hall but realistically she is going to wake up.



Best of luck to all of you out there!!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Oh Snap! Am I still married?


I broke my wedding ring!

How do you do that you may be asking yourself?  Well the answer is I don't know.  I was walking down the hall at work last week and heard something hit the carpet and suddenly thought, my hand feels weirdly lighter at the same time.  As I looked down I thought, "oh no!  How do I explain this to my husband?" And at the same time, "please, let that be the noise I heard."

It felt like my feet had become cement blocks when the idea that my ring broke had crossed my mind.  After my initial thoughts of panic rushed over me in a flood, my next wave of panic set in.  When was the last time I had my ring inspected?????  Where is that paperwork you can never seem to find???  Oh my God, I have to tell my husband!

Thank goodness the noise I heard was it and it only took me a minute to find it.  Whew!!!

After I found it I took the above picture and promptly text it to my husband and Instagram.  You know because those nearly life changing events have to be shared with the world.  Haha!! My husband's response was:
Yup, he went to Jared!  hahahahahahaha!!!



For once I new where it was, safely tucked into the back part of my suv (aka thrown in the back of my truck while in a rush to make my 50 lb purse lighter).  As I arrived at the jeweler I prayed that my memory had served me right and that it hadn't been more than 6 months since my last inspection.  I mean I'd been thinking that I should go get it checked out but hadn't made it to the store yet to do it.  I could not have been happier to know that I was still within my time frame.  I was screaming like a little schoolgirl inside that I hadn't gone past the inspection expiration period.

My husband and I were supposed to be shopping that day but obviously this was going to be our first stop.  Our daughter had fallen asleep on the way to the store so I went in without them and started the process... I was in the store for more than an hour.  I thought they'd take the ring, look at it and say, "yup we'll weld this bad boy together and you'll have it back by the end of the week."  Cool... not cool, the man (with the gorgeous, impeccable handwriting) inspected the ring and the diamond, and the diamond again, and the diamond again.  I thought, "wow, this guy is really thorough."  He excused himself and walked away asking if I has a few minutes to wait.  Um, yup, you kind of have my ring...

He let me know that he needed his assistant manager to take a look at it.  Of course it's Christmas time and the store is busy so this takes some time.  At this point I've been in the store so long, I'm positive that my husband and child are going to come in asking if I'm ever going to be done.  It's no big deal though.  I'm just glad I can grab some free water, I'm parched!

I watch as the assistant manager and the original man helping me look under the microscope, talk then look again.  A little more discussion, another look, and finally they look at me.  I'm thinking all kinds of crazy things like, "is this the wrong diamond?  Is it a diamond?  Do they think I did something to it?  What is going on?  I swear I'm innocent!!"  My imagination is quite vivid and can think up some crazy things.

I was way out in left field on my thoughts.  It turns out my diamond had gotten cracked.  Yes, you read that right, the diamond was cracked.  How?  I don't know but it was.  Now, I am getting a new diamond but they will have my ring for like 2 months.  *sad face*  Maybe it was a blessing in disguise but dang, I feel a bit naked without it.  So if you see me without my ring, I'm still married, just clearly too hard on my jewelry.

Lesson of the day:  Set some damn calendar reminders to have your ring inspected because it just may save your marriage!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Oh Christmas Bills! Oh Christmas Bills!!

You can go ahead and sign that just like I did to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree!

It has been quite a few years since I've really had to buy gifts for any one.  There are only a handful of people that I feel obligated to buy for and as a result I can do most of it online in a fairly quick manner.  For the last two years the person that I fretted over the most was my nephew and hasn't really cared much in the past about what he got it was the excitement of opening things (he's 3).

We do a gift exchange on Christmas with my husband's family as well.  Last year we did books and bags, the bags I had embroidered turned out to be really crappy but you can't win every year.  Since we had just had our daughter the bags were supposed to be little kits that were filled with diaper, a blanket, etc. for when she was out with each family but that didn't quite happen but it was the idea.  My husband and I don't exchange anything really.  I mean technically I purchased him this sweater for Christmas...


I actually bought it in gray with the blue pony but I can't seem to find a picture of that one.

This year, on December 15th, my best friend kindly reminded me that Christmas was next week.  WHAT???  I'm sorry did you say that I have like a week of possible shopping time before the holiday???  Number one, she knows me way too well and probably knew that I didn't realize it was coming around the calendar corner at speeds faster than a speeding bullet.  Number two, what in the world am I going to buy for everyone???  I had written down like two ideas but hadn't really put too much thought into making it a complete gift.  I enjoy giving gifts and I enjoy the whole idea of making the packages to put together for everyone but what?  

In typical me fashion (who hates shopping) I tried to see what I could get online.  The problem with shopping online is that you can't feel and touch and compare the products the way that you would in a store.  I love shopping online because there are no crowds, or irritating people bothering me and I'm not trying to wrangle my daughter.  Alas, I gave up and decided to shop in the stores.

Because of my lack of planning and thinking things out, I've spent way too much money.  I mean over kill.  I am not mad that I spent the money I'm just mad that I didn't spread it out a little more.   I hate getting big credit card bills no matter how long I have planned and saved for events such as this.  

Gah!  Why do I do this to myself???  I'm scared to look at my credit card bills...  

Friday, December 19, 2014

My Husband Found My Blog

Ok, not really, he knew I was writing one but he didn't realize how often I was posting and that I've been fairly active on it (maybe not as active as other people but active for me!).  He's technically seen it before because I've asked him to look at things and tell me what he thinks.

He's quite computer savvy but not in the world of social media.  He's the guy that hasn't had a social media account since Friendster and MySpace were the biggest things out there. It kind of makes me laugh because if you look at my phone vs his phone, I've got a folder called "social media" filled with all my social media apps from Facebook to WeHeartIt.  He's got Stitcher Radio and Candy Crush.  We are total opposites when it comes to phone apps.

I'm not saying that I'm that active on all of those sites but I at least know if them and know how to use them.  My favorite social media site has to be Instagram.  I mean who doesn't love looking at pictures.  I'm almost disappointed that they have videos now because I just want to see pictures.

He did tell me that he was pretty impressed that there were people looking at my blog but then he asked who was looking at it... I don't know, I just know that there are at least a few people who are out there taking a look at it.  The internet is a funny place.  It is a nice place where you can be out there being who you really want to be but you can also be a complete fraud.  I'm not a fraud.  This is me just being me.

So darling husband if you read this, thank you!  I hope you at least enjoy the posts!  Love you!!


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Blog posts



I seem to always be amazed at other people's blogs.  I feel like they have such great ideas and often think wow that was really funny/interesting/good to know/etc.  The most fascinating statement that I have read over the last week was that one of the blogs I follow posts 3-5 times per day!  Seriously 3-5 times per day.  If I get 3 posts in per week I'm pretty damn impressed with myself!

That is 3-5 posts including pictures and words.  Wow!!!  I am seriously impressed with that.  I am connected to a computer pretty often but I don't do posts well from my phone and where are you keeping all the pictures that you add to each post that you create??!!  I am seriously blown away by that.  Now, I'm sure that there is some planning involved with that but I just can't fathom it...

You go girl!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Writing Prompts by from www.mamakatslosinit.com

I recently ran across Mama Kat TV on YouTube and being the stalker that I am I clicked on all her links including the one to her blog.  While on her blog I stumbled upon a page called Writing Workshop.  You can read all about it on her website by clicking the link but I thought, what a great idea.  Sometimes I get on this blog and I just get to babbling; sometimes I wish that I had a bit more of an agenda in what content that I put into cyberspace.


She has a weekly writing prompt which would allow me to to force myself to make at least one post per week and hopefully fall in love with other people's blogs too.  I already follow a few which I follow on Bloglovin'.  I'm going to try to get on board with this.  What a great idea and a great way to connect to others.  Man I love when other people think up great ideas like this!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Do it while you can

I've lost someone very special to me. Yes my heart is broken and I'll miss them dearly but it just got me thinking of there is something that you want someone to have don't wait until you're gone to make them get it. Let them know right away and better yet give it to then right then.

If you want someone to have something then don't wait until there is someone else in charge to do it. What your wishes are may not be full filled the way you wanted.

Do what you want before you are gone.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Days off are never days off

This afternoon I will be taking the afternoon off from work but I'm definitely not going home to relax... though I wish I could!  I am starting by getting my teeth cleaned.  I love going to the dentist.  That sounds absolutely crazy because there are so many people who HATE the dentist but I love it.

My dentist is wonderful!  It's the kind of office that you go to and they know your name first and foremost.  They also remember things that you talked about the last time that you were in such as going to a good friend's wedding or getting a new puppy.  Probably the most important thing to me is that they are quick and on time!  When I told them I was having a baby they gave me the cutest little care package of baby toothbrushes and a bib.  They are really a thoughtful group.


After I leave the wonderful dentist who's going to make my teeth all shiny and smooth, I'll be heading off to get a rim replaced on my truck.  I was always taught that it was a better deal to buy a used car so I always have, well, used cars come with a whole host of problems some times (not that new ones don't but you never know what you're going to get).  I live in Michigan and the roads can be a bit harsh on wheels and tires so one of my wheels is leaking and I needed to get a new one.  The dealership and I have been working on getting one from GM for nearly a month now... it's ridiculous.  It has finally come in and it will be put on later today.  

Two things done!

After that it will be time to pick my that sweet face pictured above and off to do more errands that I've been procrastinating about for far too long!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Be proud of yourself

Tonight as my husband and I sat on the couch we talked about my work evaluation. Although this wasn't my best year it wasn't the worst it could have been. I'm not going to lie. This year was a struggle for me. I'd had a baby last December and I really struggled with the idea that I'd have to go back to work. There were some other promising changes that were supposed to be made through the year to my husband and me that didn't come through but in the end things worked out.

I wasn't really happy about the work evaluation but I thought about all the other things that happened this year and I realized I have lots to be proud about. I have a healthy happy baby girl who is progressing nicely. My husband had been there for so many different nights of my ridiculousness and supports all of it. We've made big plans for our future and they are starting to fall into place. So I've got lots to be proud of.

I think sometimes wet just need to remind ourselves it's okay to be proud of things that others may think are insignificant. Be proud of all of what you do and don't be afraid to tell people of the things you are proud of.

There are far too many people embellishing their accomplishments that don't deserve quite the cheerleading that the give to themselves but there are also way more people who won't even give themselves an ounce of credit when the deserve mountains of it. So if you've done something that you are proud of be your own cheerleader. Be PROUD of yourself. If you aren't going to be your own cheerleader who will be?

Weekends like tornados

Monday through Friday in my world are pretty regular.  I work a normal 9-5 type job then grab my daughter head home for dinner and play time before bed and doing it all over again.  Most days I don't have anything exciting going on and don't try too hard to find something more interesting to do after work (I need to but that's a whole different post).

The weekends are a whole other story.  They come in fast and strong like a good storm add in a birthday party for my daughter and that storm turns into a F-5 tornado.  Not to say that the weekends are bad, they are just chaotic.  If you've ever asked my brother what I'm like he'll already say that I'm a tornado.  I'm forgetful and come with a whirling mess of bags and other accessories where ever I go.  I'm a mess.

This past week has been a bit rough.  Last Thursday and Friday I thought my face was going to implode from the head cold I'd picked up... then my daughter got it.  I felt like a horrible person for that.  I mean it would be hard not to give it to her but since she's been born she's only had one fever and it was so minimal that we never even gave her medicine for it.  This time was different.  I know she was feeling horrible because I felt horrible and I'm an adult and can fully articulate the problems going on.  She must have been so frustrated with me these last few days, not only am I sticking a thermometer in places she doesn't approve of but she also can't breathe through the mountains of snot clogging her delicate little nose.  I was about 5 minutes from canceling the party.  We battled her fever all Friday evening and for a good portion of Saturday.  By Sunday her fever had nearly dissipated completely but I knew she still wasn't feeling well.



Meanwhile while I wasn't sure we were still going to have a party, I bought all the food and we finished cleaning and preparing the house for the people to arrive.  My dear husband has been on a cleaning marathon.  His days are much more flexible than mine so he was able to work and clean more than me.  I've done some cleaning but not like he did.  He's wonderful.

There were some other not as happy events that also happened this weekend but let's focus on the happy ones such as having a great birthday party with lots of family and friends who were ever so generous in all the things they bought for her.  I am so very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  My little Mini did super well although she may not have felt like a million dollars she played and played and played until she fell asleep right on her dad's shoulder.



This blog on the other hand was the very last thing on my mind so there's that...

Friday, December 5, 2014

Head cold

I seriously have the worst head cold I've had in quite some time. I don't get sick often but I am this time and the worst part is in so busy this week. Whenever people get sick I feel like its the most inconvenient of timing.

I really hope by tomorrow in a whole new woman.


Cheat post

Ok, so I said that I would do a make up post for missing one but I feel like this is a cheat post.  I'm only posting this one because it made me think, "Wow!  People are actually looking at this blog?"  I mean seriously there are a gazillion other blogs out there and this is some little blip in cyber space.  It's really awesome and actually makes me feel like,, "oh, maybe I should keep doing this blogging thing."



 So if you read this, Thank You!  It's weird not knowing who you are talking to but it's pretty cool. (I'm so lame...)

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Fail



I've failed already...  Not that I explicitly stated that I was going to try to try to participate in blogmas but I was thinking that it might be a good idea.  It takes approximately 21 days to form a habit I thought blogmas, 25 days of blogging, would be a great idea to get me in the habit of regularly blogging.  I saw it on instagram and thought it might be cool.

I would have tried to do vlogmas but let's be real I have a habit of uploading a video about once a month not even once a week, so once a day would a been a bit overwhelming for me.  Maybe that will be my New Year's resolution or maybe I'll do it for the 30 days leading up to my birthday this year. I'm babbling...

Oh well, I'll try to get back on track with it... maybe I'll try to do an extra post just to make up for yesterday's whoops.  I'm not very good at forming new habits.  I get bored really easy... oh, shiny thing!

Happy blogmas!




Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Name 3 things you did yesterday

This morning I was watching YouTube videos as I often do (because I'm freaking addicted) and on Sprinkle of Glitter's vlog channel, Sprinkle of Chatter, her comment was, "Tell me 3 things you did yesterday."  Seems simple enough.  I've been trying to be less of a social media lurker and more active because I really do love the things that people post, so I thought, I'll comment... but I couldn't,

I couldn't remember 3 different things.  It was Monday so I went to work... um... yup that is all that I could think of.  That is so bad.  After a few very long minutes I decided that this wasn't just bad but also very sad.  

What am I doing with my life?  It's just zipping by at warp speed and I'm just barely hanging on for dear life to the moments.  I started to think about why I started this blog and why I've been trying to start a channel on YouTube.  I didn't want life to pass me in a flash and the next thing you know, my daughter is graduating high school going off to college and leaving her creaky old parents in the dust.  I want to remember the first things she says (that I can really understand) and when she finally decided that she could walk on her own without holding my hand.  I'm not sure that I will remember those things if I'm just worried about what I'm going to pack for her lunch tomorrow and if my kitchen is clean.  

What is truly important right now?  I'm not sure, but I'm going to make sure that each day I work harder and harder to remember that I've got the most precious little gem of a daughter (yup, I'm totally biased; I'd expect any parent to say that about their little ones) and a massively patient and understanding husband who loves me and tells me I look great even when I'm feeling more meh than anything.  I am a victim of my own expectations.  They need to come down a little.

Thanksgiving Day parade

My goal is to make a point of really cherishing at least three events each day.  What did you do yesterday?



Monday, December 1, 2014

Oh, Christmas Tree

As I laid in bed this morning I started to wonder why an evergreen tree as THE Tree of Christmas.  

KiiwyYo

If you read Dear Santa, you would know that I haven't put up a traditional tree for quite a few years.  There have been quite a few family members who have made comments about how we "need" to put up the tree.  A Christmas tree doesn't change the holiday for me.  I do have a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree that my best friend purchased a few years ago as a joke but I've put that tree up for quite a few years.  This has literally been the extent of my decorating as of the last few years.



Why an evergreen tree though?  I've read quite a few different variations of why but essentially it has come down to the fact that an evergreen is just that, ever green.  In the winter when all the leaves have fallen off the trees and the ground will no longer let the crops grow, an evergreen is alive and flourishing even in the harshest of weather.  Some also believed that evergreens would keep away evil spirits, ghosts, sickness, etc.  I often feel like traditions were started to ward away all kinds of bad things such as spirits and illness.

There are so many different variations of the story of the Christmas tree it would be a ridiculous blog post.  I am not going to put up a traditional tree again this year but I did purchase one of these cute little things from Trader Joe's (this isn't mine, I borrowed the picture).  


This week I'm going to decide on what I am going to do for a tree.  I think I will make this year's tree out of wrapping paper and lights (I'll try to make a post about that). <-- Blogger's being a little wonky and not letting me realign things.  Sorry!

For now let's just look at some other beautiful trees that people have posted:

Christmas Tree🌲⛄️❄️

Christmas-Tree-Ornament-Mobile F






I hope you all find whatever traditions work for you and your family.