Weekend snuggles... gone bad

This past weekend was great.  I was off on New Year's Eve all the way until yesterday.  I love getting more time to spend time with my daughter and husband.  I love to snuggle with her and usually I can only get those when she's sleeping because she's moving a million miles a minute the rest of the time.  There is a small window in the morning of possible snuggles but that is even a little hit or miss.

I'm totally surprised by this occurrence

Well, starting last Friday she was a little snuggly and that was wonderful.   I love getting my mommy hugs and snuggle time in.  Since the weather wasn't the greatest over the weekend it was kinda wonderful.  We stayed in Friday and just hung around the house and chilled. Then rolled around Friday night, she was a little clingy but that seemed ok because it was getting late and maybe she was just tired.  I let it go.  She went down for bedtime with the usual struggles but nothing truly unusual.

Well somebody's comfy

 Along comes foggy, cold Saturday... Well, Saturday must have brought in the crabbiness along with the cold weather because I could barely get a minute of baby-free time to even go to the bathroom.  She was attached to my arms.  It's not that I don't know how to do things with one hand (I mean let's be real, if you're a mom you become a one-arm bandit) but I was just getting used to using both hands again and also peeing alone.

By late afternoon snuggles had turned into full on industrial strength Velcro attachment.  She cried at the thought that I'd have to possibly put her down to change her diaper.  When I actually put her down for a change she screamed bloody murder like a horror film.  It broke my heart.

My husband went into work on Saturday and could see that she and I had had a very long day...

Sunday rolled around and the snuggles no longer had the same sparkle that the had on Friday.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder was a thought of the past.  Although I love her in my arms it wasn't the same as Friday when my neck wasn't tight from awkward sleeping arrangements and my arm didn't ache from constant carrying...

Then came Monday, the day that I wished I were a stay at home mom.  I wanted to call into work and tell them, "Sorry, my little girl isn't feeling well today, I'll be in tomorrow."  That isn't an option at work this week... My husband stayed home and I'm sure he did a great job but all I kept thinking about was how she sobbed as I left for work.  More heart break.

I rushed home from work, only to have her fall fast asleep on my chest as she's done so many times before.  I hadn't realized how much time had passed but I knew it was longer than usual.  Taking a nap around 5:30 or 6 is not uncommon for her but it's usually only 45 minutes or so... not this one... it was FOUR hours long!!  I couldn't believe it.  Four hours??!!  Instant regret popped into my brain but she finally woke up happy for the first time in three days.

We definitely stayed up much later than I had expected but even though that was a snuggle gone wrong, I'll take it just to see my little momma happy again.  Full of giggles and smiles makes it worth it to have to go to work and drink copious amounts of tea.

Being a Stealth Ninja

Being a mom has turned me into a stealth ninja.  I know there are parents out there that absolutely forbid any time of household noise during nap time and after bed time but I never wanted to be one of those parents.

My brother's son is 3 and we were never as quiet as I am during nap time.  Let me just say, I do NOT like lots of noise.  If you were ever to get into my car, the radio is often pretty low.  I mean I am the person who turns the radio down before the shut off the car... always!! It literally pisses me off if I get into my car and when I turn the key on the radio is loud.  However, I don't think that it is necessary to be silent in your time while a child sleeps.  As a matter of fact, I used to try to make a bit of noise while my daughter napped so that in the future it wouldn't be such a problem...

Well, we all choose our sleeping battles.  I would love if my daughter slept in her crib all night without getting up but let's be real, I haven't forced her to and I've now created a monster.  I was the one who was hesitant to move her from the co-sleeper to her crib at 4 or 6 months (great mommy memory there!).  I knew that moving her meant that if she wanted to nurse that I'd have to really wake up to do so instead of just grabbing her from her co-sleeper.

There are plenty of people that will read this and think, why didn't you just give her a bottle... well, I hate pumping.  Let me clarify that, I F---ING HATE PUMPING.  You won't catch me cursing (like the sailor that I am in real life) in this blog but let me make it clear, when there are occasions that require that I take the time to really let you know how I feel about something that I will.  There are so many occasions that I wanted to just tell my husband to get a bottle and handle it but I wouldn't because the he'd use my preciously pumped milk.

Listen, as a working mom who hates to hear my child (or any child for that matter) scream in sleep frustration, I tend to cave at some things.  I still nurse my child to sleep, she's just over 12 months, I put her to bed asleep, I cuddle her while she's napping... I know that all these things are "wrong" but I don't want to be right because I love it.  I love every snuggly moment that she will allow me to have.

Some day, much sooner that I'd hope, she is going to be daddy's girl and the days of mommy clingliness will be over.  She loves me to the point of clinginess right now.  Hence the reason I have become a stealth ninja.

When I put my daughter to bed, there are too many times where she ends up in our bed.  Her bedroom is right across the hall from ours but she doesn't have the greatest track record for sleeping in her crib (which could be a blog post in itself one day but well see)

I work full time and so does my husband.  We need sleep.  There is no if ands or buts about it.  Sleep is critical in this house and that is often sacrificed by either lack of sleep or bad habits.  We chose bad habits.  I would rather get a bit of sleep before showing up to work like a zombie than making sure that my daughter slept in her bed but it's a matter of personal opinion.  The cry it out method has worked for so many people it is tempting to me but I just haven't built up the strength to endure a rough two to five days to deal with it.  With all that said, she still sleeps in our bed pretty often.

Once, our daughter has gone to bed or early in the morning before she's awoken, I often do things like: clean, cook or organize.  My favorite is cooking but I know that the other things have to be done.  This is where being a stealth ninja comes in.

Like I said there are times where my daughter will be sleeping in our bed.  She sleeps great in our bed.  She does however know when I've left the room.  It's exhausting.  I have become a stealth ninja because of all the situations that require a careful removal of yourself from the bed.  If my daughter is sleeping in our bed, just freaking deal with it.  I know I may possibly be able to move her across the hall but realistically she is going to wake up.

Best of luck to all of you out there!!!!